I don’t want to feel anymore

Everyone wants to live a certain way but no body wants to make sacrifices to get there….that to me makes no sense. 

I haven’t had the whole life experience but going through many friendship trials, being a friend, being a bad friend and having bad friends I have learned many things about what a good friend is even when it means being honest. People do not always take your honesty as as honesty or constructive criticism and that is understandable but a friend no matter what situation it is will always understand the message you are trying send. I know that as of lately I haven’t been the greatest friend to many of my friends but I can say this much; I have always cared for each and every one of you, I have always kept your best interest at heart even if I have shown it aggressively, and no matter where I was or what problem you were having I would have dropped my entire schedule at any time to be there for you in any way. Sometimes what people do not understand about friendship is that, if you are drowning in your troubles but you do not call out for help no one will ever hear you, especially your friends. I’m not going to stand by and pretend like my feelings are not also on the line but I do apologize if I have been absent as of lately, I do care a lot about you and where you are in life but like you I have lots on my shoulders as well and friendship is always a two way street. I think especially now, many of my friends think that my relationship takes my time away a lot but I would not exactly make that the reason. Yes, I am in a relationship now and yes it does take away some of that time but no one calls out to me anymore as they would when I was single. But like many misquoted quotes, I will do what I have too and those who want to stay will stay and those who do not will always have the option of the open door, just know that my friendship is always there and I’m always willing to listen even after everything that has happened, but if you do go, know that my best wishes are with you and that you achieve all that you can be and that I am always just a phone call away. 

You are the only person to have made it this far and still remain; sometimes I wonder why that is so. Then I think about why this relationship is worth it, I start to question why we are together or why we risk loving one another. Do you love me or are you just afraid of loneliness. Are we in love or are we just infatuated with the idea of us being together.

loveyourchaos:

I feel like I know how this ends, even when I am happy, I feel like I know how it ends and I feel like I’ve always known. I’m living with that knowledge today and my chest is tight and heavy and I’m trying to get out of bed, clean my fucking room and shower just to distract from these heavy thoughts. 

☣FLOWER BLOOMED IN THE DARK☣: Sometimes you meet someone and even though you never liked brown eyes...

Women don’t trust other women because some of them may have a good heart but end up making stupid decisions. I have nothing against females, I just think that morally they should understand where certain lines are drawn. And that is why I believe women are so hard on each other, because some just see certain aspects of life differently from what others may possibly see as morally right or morally wrong. I don’t hate you or have anything against you I just think your priorities are fucked up and your morality needs a real serious REALITY CHECK.